THE MOST MEMORABLE ADVICE MY MOTHER GAVE ME: PART TWO
Thanks to everyone in the Audrey Facebook community who contributed to Part II of one of our favourite Audrey articles ever, sharing what they learnt from their mums.
Mary“Get up and walk around – you’ll feel better”. This was a catch-all cure to sadness, boredom, period cramps… she was way ahead of the “get your endorphins going” movement.
“You can tell a lot about a man from his shoes. Scruffy shoes are a sign of a no-hoper who’ll be no end of trouble. Also, if he can’t dance, run a mile”.
“Children are like dogs. Take them to the park, wear them out, feed them well and you’ll get some peace”. Top advice, Mum.
“You can’t walk home from a boat ride”
“If you don’t ask, you don’t get”
“Always have your own bank account, it’s only money (which has been a blessing and a curse), laughter is the best medicine and always say yes to opportunities”
My kindness and hospitality – always putting others first and helping people out where you can But I also learnt about bad drinking habits and eventually, how not to drink… What loneliness and sadness looks like in old age. And how, with age, can come fear. I’m not currently speaking to my mum until she sorts out her drinking.
“Take responsibility”. It applies to everything and changes your mindset.
“Keep your hand on your holiday money”. I never really knew what it meant, but it was a catch-all warning to ‘be careful’ and always sounded like a euphemism for something saucy. Her mum used to say it too. Northerners.
“There’s no such word as ‘can’t’”.
“If a creepy man starts hastling you, touches you or puts his hand on your knee in the cinema, shout ‘Will you get off me!” as loudly as you can. He’ll be off like a shot”. Sadly I have had to use this one a few times.
“My Mum’s favourite saying if we ever complained about having to do anything was “I don’t believe in bringing up useless objects”! Can’t argue with that!
She was tremendously positive, so I think what she’d like to think – and for me to believe – is that we shall overcome. She dedicated her life to that belief, I can’t let her down.
“There is no such thing as a right decision: you just have to take a leap of faith sometimes, make a decision and then make it work”.
I sadly lost my mother Dianne last July aged just 72. Her advice was to never let people down and always stick to arrangements you have made even if something better comes along. She also retrained as a legal secretary when she was 40 and it made me believe anything is possible if you put your mind to it.
I lost my mum a year ago. We didn’t always have the best relationship and the biggest thing I learnt was to always be there for my children and have a very open and easy relationship with them. My kids can talk to me about anything. I never had that luxury with my mum as she was quite a closed off person.
She’d say “Treat everyone the same, listen and take time to chat about stuff. A brew and a chat tends to solve a lot of problems”. My mum died too young at 61, 11 years ago. I had a lot more to ask her but she was and still is my role model.
“Be kind” my beautiful mum used to say!
“False eyelashes AFTER the eyeshadow then touch up the eyeliner (winged, obviously!)” I’m sure one day it’ll come in handy…
“Always let me know where you are”
Whenever I feel lost or unsure she gets me to make a small Next Steps plan. With the mantra “Don’t stick to the plan if the plan changes”. That and “Put your lipstick and best for the job face on before you go out”. She learnt that from her mama. It works for me, especially bright red lipstick when I want to feel strong.
“We are all of equal value. Treat everyone with the same respect and care whether they are prince or pauper, and never call anyone ‘sir’ (in the sense of not subjugating oneself to another)”.
“You can do ANYTHING Darling”
On our many rain-sodden camping holidays, when we’d all sit around sulking about the grey skies and lack of excitement, Mum would jump up and say ‘Look, I can see blue sky – it’s clearing up!”. Sometimes it wasn’t and sometimes it was, but I learnt to be optimistic and try and find the chink of blue sky when things feel bleak.