WITHOUT THIS RING: A Woman’s Guide to Living Through Divorce

A Woman’s Guide to Successfully Living Through and Beyond Midlife Divorce

By Abby Rodman

I’ve never been through divorce, but if I did I’d want someone to hand me this book. It is full of support and reassurance that your feelings of rage and disappointment, guilt, loss and fear are normal. And – while it’s full of people called Larry with a good job in real estate – you hear plenty of stories that you can really relate to.

The real value of the book, apart from holding your hand through one of the most difficult experiences you’ll endure, is in preventing you from making mistakes you may later regret.

Abby Rodman surveyed a large number of women who divorced in midlife and she has totally nailed this. The importance of keeping your dignity (even if you’d dearly love to dump his belongings out the window), of ‘putting on your oxygen mask first’ so you can handle the turbulence ahead, and if you’ve had children, not using them to wound your ex.

Knowing from women close to me how difficult the gradual unravelling of a marriage can be, and how liberating once you’re out the other side, this is a book that helps you make that journey just a little bit more smoothly. Examining our own role in a failed marriage is crucial, as is accepting that we’re not being selfish by wanting a better life for ourselves.

While the Americanisms are at times a little cheesy for a cynical Brit reader, the message is a powerful one and when you reach the quotes from survey respondents at the end, it’s one air punch after another as they describe how ‘I’m doing the happy dance every morning and living life on my terms”.

Marina Gask