HOW DIVORCE CAN BRING JOY
There’s a whole new generation of women who have come out the other side of divorce loving their single life. Many don’t want or need to find love again, or at least are in no rush to do so. Over half of divorced women are happier after breaking up – a far higher proportion than men. Us-ing words like ‘celebration’ and ‘excitement’, 61% even said they are not looking for a relation-ship, according to the survey of British men and women with an average age of 54.
Debunking the narrative of the lonely, bitter divorcee, these are confident, empowered women who, post-divorce, don’t want or need a new partner. They are living the fulfilled single life full of work, travel, friends and extended family.
And many of them shared their views with the Audrey community. One 45-year-old mum of one, separated from her ex after 20 years together says “I’m in control, I’m happier and I’m me again”. Adds another who’s divorced and since remarried: “I don’t know many things that can make you as actively, consistently miserable as a bad marriage”.
And what of finding love again? Is it the be-all and end-all? Says a 51 year old mum of two, di-vorced for 10 years: “Meeting someone else hasn’t been my priority, although I did for a few years. But I’m happy to go with the flow of life, there are so many things to enjoy. I don’t think I have to be married to be happy”.
Divorce is, of course, far from easy. There are huge hurdles to get through – emotional, financial, logistical and legal. The fallout for children can be hard – for advice on this read all about surviving divorce click here.
Says mum of two Julia Sondack, 52, divorced three years ago: “There is no immediate happiness when a relationship ends. Financial burdens and iniquities create animosity even in the most civi-lised relationships. But for me the freedom of choice to live your life the way you wish afterwards leads to the greatest happiness. By the end of my 24yr marriage I felt like a caged bird. Now I have my wings”.
It can be hard to see light at the end of the tunnel when you face a marriage split, says solicitor and accredited family lawyer Linda Lamb. But keep your eye on the prize. ““When I see female clients initially they never imagine that they’re going to rediscover themselves and be much much happier in the long run – but many do”.
After splitting from the father of her children after a long relationship Audrey contributor Hannah says she’s “…a million times happier. I put off the decision because I feared what was on the other side and it’s been tough but positive. As my mum says, the years between 40 and 70 fly by so you have to do what makes you happy”.
Read Tracey’s story of newfound happiness after divorcing her unfaithful husband here.