STARTING THE JOURNEY WITHOUT KNOWING YOUR DESTINATION
How to find your drive when you don’t know what you want.
Many of us never dare to dream big because it’s difficult to know exactly what we want. A commonly held belief is that you must know where you are headed before you can start. Life feels comfortable enough, yet there’s an underlying feeling that something might be missing. But without a clear goal it leads to procrastination and putting things off, and soon you notice a week has turned into a month, a month into a year and your life keeps passing you by.
But what if living audaciously isn’t about knowing where you are headed but about accepting that life can – and should – be an ever evolving discovery?
I have met thousands of women in the past couple of years at the DrivenWoman Lifeworking™ network, a women’s group I founded to help women make those long lost goals and dreams happen. And as our groups have expanded from London across Europe and beyond, I have heard thousands of personal stories like this: women holding themselves back, feeling stuck rather than following their inner dreams and desires.
I call it your inner drive. We all have it. It’s that tickling sensation at the bottom of your stomach that tells you there’s more to life than the mundane. It’s what nudges you forward encouraging you to step outside your comfort zone and show up fully.
“As soon as you start doing things that excite you more you connect to the flow of life.””
We women often suffer from a lack of self-belief that filters down to our everyday lives, making us risk averse. It is no wonder as for many centuries our ideas and dreams have gone unnoticed by society. Endless demands have been placed upon us making women’s lives so crowded that it’s at times impossible to hear our souls calling.
We struggle to shake off this invisible net. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
When you feel ashamed to try out new things it’s nearly impossible to explore avenues that might fail. We’re so used to getting the ‘gold stars’ of success that when we venture out of our comfort zone in search of a more exciting path we may find the struggle unbearable.
I’ve discovered that all women, regardless of their status, background, colour or profession, deal with this feeling of fear at some points in their lives.
““The only medicine is vulnerability. As long as we try to keep things perfect it’s impossible to move forward.””
You can break your goals down into small, doable steps. You can start a new path in life without taking any risks! You can explore ideas for a new career without quitting your job. The secret to success is consistently committing to these small steps.
Here are five simple tools you can put into practise straight away to find your drive:
Identify the smallest possible step
For instance, if you have an idea for a business, don’t worry about the funding or if your idea will be successful. Find three people who inspire you and write down what you can learn from them.
Get over the shame barrier
One of the biggest barriers for women is visibility. We are scared to share our ideas in public. Find someone who you can trust and say out loud what you want.
Make space
The reason dreams don’t happen is because it’s difficult to stick to our own plans. Create a regular slot in your calendar and inform your immediate team or family that you are not to be disturbed during that time.
“What could you discover if you listened to your inner drive and stepped outside your comfort zone?”
Show up
Commitment to your journey is the key. It’s important to keep showing up and get less attached to the outcome. There will be many obstacles along the way and it’s important not to be too self-critical.
Find your tribe
The best way to keep you going is to surround yourself with people who will support you, keep you accountable and cheer you on. Don’t surround yourself with your usual lot, find people who have a positive mindset and no vested interest in your future.
Sooner than you know it, things start happening and what seemed like an impossible task suddenly feels comfortable. What could you discover if you listened to your inner drive and stepped outside your comfort zone?
Words: Miisa Mink
To find out more about Lifeworking™ and how it could help you pursue your goals and dreams go to www.driven-woman.com or join their free Facebook group Doers Tribe
Looking for expert advice and a supportive community? The Audrey Members’ Club is a whole world of support, coaching and expertise for women through self-employment, changing careers, running a business or launching one. Join us to kickstart your future, whatever that may be.